I‘ve never considered myself strange. In fact, I’ve always just wanted to be normal and mainstream. But after having a twitter converstation with @TheLeakyBoob about the many uses of breastmilk, I realized I’m just not ever going to be. So here’s my tribute to all the counterculture mamas out there, reluctantly or otherwise:
You might be a counterculture mama if:
1. The only thing a crib has ever been used for in your home is to store clothes (if you own one at all).
2. You consumed sushi, raw cheese, deli meat, beer, or wine (or all of the above) while pregnant.
3. The first doctor your child saw was a chiropractor.
4. When you open your medicine cabinet, you find various essential oils and a neti pot, and not much else.
5. Your placentas are buried somewhere in your yard, if you didn’t eat them.
6. When you ask your children how babies eat, they lift up their shirts (even the boys).
8. You know was EC means.
9. The only time your child is strapped into a car seat is when they’re in the car.
10. One or more of your children were born in the water.
11. You drink a beer a day while you’re nursing.
12. You own at least three different baby slings.
13. You know why that kid is wearing an amber necklace.
14. When you weaned your baby at 15 months, you were the first of your friends.
15. When you change a dirty diaper, you take it to the toilet, not the garbage can.
16. You’ve squirted breastmilk on your child’s eye/ear/nose/butt.
17. The Environmental Working Group’s Cosmetic’s Database is bookmarked on your computer, and you don’t buy anything over a 2.
18. Your toddler doesn’t know what cow’s milk or juice tastes like.
19. You own a Moby or similar wrap and know how to tie it.
20. You can’t watch “A Baby Story” or “Deliver Me” because you end up yelling at the television.
21. When the Hyland’s Teething Tablet recall was announced, you ran out to the store and bought every bottle you could find.
22. Your child only weaned because he was too busy running around to remember to breastfeed anymore.
23. You know what arnica is and you know how to use it.
24. When you go to the pediatrician’s office, you bring your own printed copies of the WHO growth charts.
25. You know what tandem nursing is, and you’ve done it.
26. Your child’s first solid food was avocado, banana, sweet potato, or meat that you cooked and pureed yourself.
27. You know what a Diva cup, sponge beads and mama cloth are.
28. You have no idea how many times a day (or night) you breastfeed your child(ren).
29. You own a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
30. You educate your children but don’t send them to school.
31. You can walk and breastfeed at the same time.
32. You’re going to have to explain to your boy children why their penises don’t look like their dad’s.
33. The staff at the pediatrician’s office knows you as THAT patient.
34. You cook things from scratch because you want to be able to pronounce every ingredient.
35. You know how to breastfeed your child while they’re strapped in a carseat in a moving car.
Can you come up with more? Add them to the comments and peruse what other people have to say!