Are you a counterculture mama?
I‘ve never considered myself strange. In fact, I’ve always just wanted to be normal and mainstream. But after having a twitter converstation with @TheLeakyBoob about the many uses of breastmilk, I realized I’m just not ever going to be. So here’s my tribute to all the counterculture mamas out there, reluctantly or otherwise:
You might be a counterculture mama if:
1. The only thing a crib has ever been used for in your home is to store clothes (if you own one at all).
2. You consumed sushi, raw cheese, deli meat, beer, or wine (or all of the above) while pregnant.
3. The first doctor your child saw was a chiropractor.
4. When you open your medicine cabinet, you find various essential oils and a neti pot, and not much else.
5. Your placentas are buried somewhere in your yard, if you didn’t eat them.
6. When you ask your children how babies eat, they lift up their shirts (even the boys).
7. Dr. Bronner’s is the only commercial cleaner in your home, and you use it for everything.
8. You know was EC means.
9. The only time your child is strapped into a car seat is when they’re in the car.
10. One or more of your children were born in the water.
11. You drink a beer a day while you’re nursing.
12. You own at least three different baby slings.
13. You know why that kid is wearing an amber necklace.
14. When you weaned your baby at 15 months, you were the first of your friends.
15. When you change a dirty diaper, you take it to the toilet, not the garbage can.
16. You’ve squirted breastmilk on your child’s eye/ear/nose/butt.
17. The Environmental Working Group’s Cosmetic’s Database is bookmarked on your computer, and you don’t buy anything over a 2.
18. Your toddler doesn’t know what cow’s milk or juice tastes like.
19. You own a Moby or similar wrap and know how to tie it.
20. You can’t watch “A Baby Story” or “Deliver Me” because you end up yelling at the television.
21. When the Hyland’s Teething Tablet recall was announced, you ran out to the store and bought every bottle you could find.
{The following were added after the original list was posted — thanks to Lisa, Julia, Liz, Ashley, Alexis, Grace, Jean, Rachel, Christy & Danielle for the suggestions!}
22. Your child only weaned because he was too busy running around to remember to breastfeed anymore.
23. You know what arnica is and you know how to use it.
24. When you go to the pediatrician’s office, you bring your own printed copies of the WHO growth charts.
25. You know what tandem nursing is, and you’ve done it.
26. Your child’s first solid food was avocado, banana, sweet potato, or meat that you cooked and pureed yourself.
27. You know what a Diva cup, sponge beads and mama cloth are.
28. You have no idea how many times a day (or night) you breastfeed your child(ren).
29. You own a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
30. You educate your children but don’t send them to school.
31. You can walk and breastfeed at the same time.
32. You’re going to have to explain to your boy children why their penises don’t look like their dad’s.
33. The staff at the pediatrician’s office knows you as THAT patient.
34. You cook things from scratch because you want to be able to pronounce every ingredient.
35. You know how to breastfeed your child while they’re strapped in a carseat in a moving car.
Can you come up with more? Add them to the comments and peruse what other people have to say!
{ 226 comments… read them below or add one }
LOVE THIS!!! They didn’t all apply to me- but I’m still learning! What about: if you have ever nursed your child while they were sitting in their own seat on a plane- and you don’t really consider it a big deal. ? Or: if you are the only one at your church/place of faith that does any of these things and other mothers say things like, “I’m so sure I’m going to go to the toilet to dunk and wash out diapers!” before they realize that you in fact do this.
I think only 2 of those truly don’t apply to me…but one is only because I don’t like beer
Hahaha! So, um, most of these apply to me, LOL! Love this post.
love this!!! Several of these apply to me
but…7 years ago when my oldest was born I was a “mainstream, normal momma”. Being normal by cultural standards just doesn’t feel right anymore. Thanks for this awesome post!!
- you have nursed while pregnant or tandem nursed
- your child is old enough to walk and talk and still nurses (heck one of mine is potty proficient and still nurses)
- Arnica
- you are ‘that’ patient
- school???
I had more apply to me than I thought! I skip beer each day only because I have Celiac Disease and wheat-free b’er is GUH-ROSS! LOL
I would add:
Making your own baby food or none at all. You just let them eat whatever you are eating.
You nod your head yes to the doctor and then do whatever you want to.
If there is more then you and your husband in bed every night(family bed)
if you go searching thought homeapath website before you call the doctor.
if your family more like a nudest tribe…
if your friend ask’s you do have a tampon, and you reply not but i have a Diva cup, sponge beads or mama cloth.
if you have ever nursed a baby beside your own.
if you have every told you husband drop the candy and put your hand up or I’ll squirt you while feeding the baby.
if every you know has see you boobs at one point or another.
if you used natural family planning.
if you homeschooling.
if you don’t vax for everything under the sun.
Ashley, I like your list better than the original, cause it describes me and my family to a ‘t’.
“if your family more like a nudest tribe…”
ROTF laughing
If your baby’s first food wasn’t baby cereal but rather a banana.
I love this list!!!
Does pumpkin count?
or avocado
Steamed broccoli here…from the farmer’s market, of course!
Love this! I said yes to quite a few of these. Before I had my son, I would have said you all are crazy! lol Once he was here, I couldn’t imagine doing a lot of the main stream parenting.
With my first i was a mainstream mama but as time goes on more and more changes!!
If you nurse while wearing your baby and walking down the road, or in the store!
So funny I love it
If your son still has ALL of his body parts.
I guess I am a half and half mama hehe. About half of thos applied to me. Some that didn’t were just because I don’t drink. I would add:
if you would rather spend time cooking everything from scratch so you KNOW what’s in it than reach for a can of “mystery food” for the convienence.
If you’ve ever nursed your child in the car while they are strapped in their car seat- (i call it fast food, or car boob, lol)
Love this. It was showed to me by a friend, and previous to this, I never would have considered myself a counter culture mom. Teriffic!
Thanks for all the great suggestions! This is such a fun post for me and I love the feedback. So nice hearing from you!
Love it!
….if you’ve taken your infant for acupressure to ‘balance his energy’ for improved sleep… and it was recommended by your pediatrician!
Wait! I thought of another: If you are getting rid of ALL plastic in your kitchen. And/Or: The times you HAVE to use a microwave, you send the children out of the room (you secretly want to teach them to duck and cover, but you’ll settle for sending them out of the room. For now.)
1. If you would rather supplement your own vitamin D than give your child vitamins.
2. If you do not think the doctor/public health nurse/authority figure automatically knows what is best for your child.
3. If your stroller rusted shut and you didn’t realize for a month.
4. If you don’t make people wash their hands before touching the baby and you actually put your offspring *gasp* on the GROUND! Where grass is! And dirt!
I love your list
LOL Love it! If you actually allow your kid to get DIRTY! All the ultra-clean people, especially the paranoid moms, make me crazy. My sister is that way, and all her kids have eczema – gee, I wonder why.
Love number 2, too. Only number 1 I’d say would be nice, but our soil is so depleted, and the fact that we are constantly exposed to pollution (even in the cleanest country areas, sadly). Sometimes we NEED to supplement. But when we eat the healthiest foods we can, supplements become SUPPLEMENTS rather than the ONLY nutrients we get.
1. If you wish herbalists and midwives were as common as pharmacies and allopaths.
2. If you wish chlorine, fluoride and bromide were as demonized as iodine is
3. If you’d be happy if everyone quit using deoderant and air-fresheners.
http://oilstories.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/killing-me-softly/
4. If you wish you could afford to have a 100% organic mattress, hardwood floors, a house made of all-natural materials, and clothes of 100% organic cotton, silk or wool.
5. If you’d rather be your own doctor than rely on someone else
6. If you’ve ever cured pink-eye.
I can relate to so many of these!!
-when you have another baby you make the family bed on the floor bigger to accomodate the new baby rather than kick an older child out
if you have ever made your own nappies (diapers) or other clothing for your baby, self or others (i bought the PUL fabric and used hemp/cotton blend toweling as the soaker)
if you hear the term hemp and think “clothing, sheets, etc” instead of “smoking”
if you have ever used crystals, reiki or any other form of energy healing (that includes any form of prayers)
if you only go to a doctor to confirm your own diagnosis
Oh yes
*While out at a cafe you ask the waitress for a spare piece of apple/avocado/cucumber/rockmelon for your baby & hand it to them to feed themself instead of pulling some mush & a spoon out of your bag.
Haha, love this! I especially like 33. Though I am confused as to how you’d do 35 safely, unless someone else was driving and you were strapped in the seat next to the child and leaning over. Unrestrained items (inc. people) can be deadly in a car accident. Having survived a serious accident (3 impacts) that has left me with pelvic girdle pain (gets very bad during pregnancy and postpartum period, often losing my mobility), I personally prefer to pull over somewhere and breastfeed in comfort and safety. If it makes me late, so what? My children come first and as their primary caregiver, so do I. Perhaps we are not just counterculture, but just fit a different culture better….. a more natural culture.
Your kids are the only ones in preschool still riding rear-facing in their carseats!
oh dear i think I am odd.
and I agree with – if you have ever brestfed a child besides your own (or would think nothing of doing so)
Love it!
Also…
You know what a “doula” is
You have your midwife on speed dial
LOVE these!
Adding anything relating to circumcision, such as:
“If you keep both your daughters’ AND your sons’genitals intact”
“If you find yourself at the playground discussing the functions of the foreskin to parents who are complete strangers to you”
“If you feel like crying and being sick to your stomach when you hear someone who is pro-cutting is having a baby boy”
I’m not known at the pediatrician’s office as THAT patient because I’m not known at the pediatrician’s office.
Haha I think my 3-year-old has been to the doctor maybe 3 times in her entire life, and my son has only been 2 times. Whenever I’ve gone in, they have a hard time finding my kids’ records because they really don’t have ones!
LOL same here Kristi! My kids don’t do well-baby visits!
Haha! Love this. I laughed out loud when I saw the one about the chiropractor. That was the last thing I expected to see here, and it happens to be true for us. My daughter is 10 months old and the only doctor she has ever seen was the chiropractor (she was crawling the next day, what a difference!)
If, upon realizing that you were pregnant for the second time, you and your husband start saving for a king size bed.
If one of your goals before TTC is saving the midwives fee.
If you have had a friend sever ties because she doesn’t want you unvaccinated children anywhere near her.
If you have intactavist/lactavist bumper stickers/cloyhing, etc. I get strange looks from people for my bumper stickers.
you consider vaccines toxic waste
If you ask your 2 1/2 yr. old if she’s ready to nurse before naptime and she says “Hold on, let me put my makeup on first”.
You own a copy of Medications and Mothers Milk and take it to any doctor appointments if you are sick and homeopathic aren’t working.
You think DHA and ARA added to baby formula is a toxin
You intentionally feed your baby live bacteria
Your current method of birth control is the child/children sleeping between you and you husband.
You go to the pediatricians office and educate him/her on child nutrition
Yes! Love it!
Nicely done!
Ditto about friends or family not wanting your unvaccinated kids around theirs!
I love it! I thought I was the only one with a floor-bed and a crib filled with laundry and friends who’ve all seen my boobs (even the bus driver probably has by now). I even nursed while I was in early labour!!
Shouldn’t there be something about home birthing? You would love to or have already done so
I LOVE this! I didn’t deliver my babies in water to my great dismay, but other than that….this is us. Thank you for the laugh and reminding me that there are others out there like us!
you will turn around and go home to get the sling if you’ve forgotten it OR you own several so that you’re never without one
when your friends suggest using babysitters to watch your infant while you go out and “enjoy yourself” you smile and nod, thinking: not over my dead body!
I actually laughed out loud at 35, remembering the face of the guy in the bus that stopped next to us.
Love this!!
If you see a mama nursing at the mall….and give her a thimbs up instead of evil stares.
If your 5 yr old stops for a boob in the middle of singing the alphabet and doing math problems.
If you cringe when you see a baby in a bucket seat–instead of warm loving arms!
If your child (male or female) is one of the biggest lactivists you know, and randomly tells people in the groccery store how important nursing is!
If your car has bumperstickers with the words foreskin, breastmilk, etc and people give you bewildered looks. hehe
If you can sleep through the night while nursing the child next to you, instead of waking and fumbling around.
If you love your crowded bed, getting kicked in the face, and having someone or other lying on your back snoring when you wake up.
If your husband has ever said “Are you wearing her today, or am I?”
If you know immunity has NOTHING to do with immunizations, and the only thing your baby has ever been “shot” with is breastmilk in the eye, ear, etc.
If you have ever posted pics of yourself nursing on Facebook and been deleted for being threatening.
If your child started solids after a year by grabbing whatever was on your plate and tryiing it for themselves. (15 months here!)
If your child rearfaced well past their 3rd birthday.
If you throw away bottles that come with baby dolls, and your kids nurse their dolls, trucks, and even books. haha
If you have ever worn your baby in the swimming pool…and nursed while floating around.
If your child calls it “building school” and has never set foot inside one…
You’ve had discussions with your in-laws about breastfeeding and why it absolutely okay to nurse my baby at the dinner table in a restaraunt.
You’ve been looked at for pushing the empty stroller while holding your baby.
Your baby can communicate very well what they want before they are a year, because you sign with your baby.
You’ve stopped shopping more times than you care to count to find a seat in the grocery store to nurse your baby.
Even though you’re pretty sure your baby-toddler is not hungry when they walk over and say “muh-muh” you welcome them onto your lap to nurse.
I’ve never been able to figure out why it WOULDN’T be ok for a woman to nurse her baby at a dinner table – in a restaurant or otherwise. Everyone else is eating dinner, why wouldn’t the baby?
I remember watching a woman nurse her baby when I was really little. I was probably 3 or 4. I knew exactly what she was doing and why. I stared because it was interesting. I didn’t know staring was impolite.
Guess my mom didn’t train me very well
You bring a copy of medications and mothers milk to Drs appointments.
You use your stroller for hauling stuff like groceries, beach supplies, laundry etc and not for pushing your baby.
You don’t own plastic toys.
Your kids breastfeed and wear their dolls (boys too).
Your kids aren’t afraid of going to the Dr because they’ve never gotten a shot.
Yours kids ask for Reiki when they get a boo boo.
Your kids think honey is cough medicine.
If you realize you’ve forgotten your diaper bag, and you borrow a diaper from a friend with the intent of returning it.
When your teenager calls their sibling a nipple shield as an insult.
If you have a “Don’t touch the penis policy” during doctor’s visits.
you’d rather have the bacteria from the air on your child’s boo boo than anti-biotic ointment.
your kids ask you to spray milk on theit cuts.
HAHA I LOVE THIS! Many of these apply to me. I am 20 wks pregnant with DD2 and still have a wonderful nursing relationship with my 3 year old DD. I LOVE being knows as “that” parent! Im proud to wear that title!!
I would be too! I’m not even a parent, but I love all these posts
This is an awesome post! Thank you, i m familiar and doing most of these
My adds:
-every body laughed at you when you bought a tiny potty for your 3m baby
-every body stared with wide open mouth when your 3m baby actually used it successfully
-books like the Continuum Concept, or Magical Child (or some more like these)are your “parenting bible” & the first gift you give to every pregnant sister you know.
-you ask your fellow mamas for natural medicine before go to the ped’s office.
-when you prepare at your kitchen all of your baby’s cosmetics.
-when you keep a some printed copies of the benefits of extended breastfeeding (plus the WHO BF growth charts) in your baby’s medical book, to smiling give it to your ped, when she is insists its time to wean at 6m, at12m, at 16m, etc.
-when your parenting style is considered as “alien” in your own country
Definitely need to add something about baby-led weaning (aka baby-led solids). “You never pureed or mixed or measured anything, your baby’s first solid foods were whatever you were eating and he/she decided how much and when and what to eat it.”
I didn’t read all the comments, so I may be repeating…
You don’t have a GYN. You have a MW. Who is also one of your closest friends.
The babies in your playgroup all have names from nature or are “creatively spelled”–or both!
You actually understand how homeopathy work and don’t understand why everyone else doesn’t.
Your baby has never had a bottle. Ever.
Someone screeches that your baby is eating a leaf. And you shrug (as long as it wasn’t treated with a pesticide!).
You read the ingredients for EVERYTHING–food (even if it’s “natural” or “organic”), toothpaste, soap, laundry detergent…
You have a stockpile of Kerr jars.
You at least 25 recipes that have kale, quinoa, barley, or nori–and you can customize each of them with whatever you picked up at the farmer’s market.
You don’t eat meat every day.
You have a very well-practiced “smile and nod” technique especially for allopathic Drs, well-meaning mainstream moms, and annoying distant relatives.
You can pronounce “quinoa”, “fenugreek”, “acai”, “chamomilla”, and “kefir” correctly. And you know what they are.
Your child has never eaten a jar of baby food.
Loved it!
“You don’t have a GYN. You have a MW. Who is also one of your closest friends. ”
This one. And you still see her socially. And will be / was a repeat customer for her.
I will stop adding these but – my partner doesn’t babysit. S/he co-parents.
If your 6 year old meets a newborn and asks ‘Why does that baby have a bottle? Does its Mummy not know how to make Milkies?’ and ‘why was that baby born at the hospital? Were they sick?’
I didn’t want to post a novel on here so made my “child-free” list on my page- http://www.retrohousewifegoesgreen.com/2010/10/are-you-counterculture.html
If I did have a kid I’m sure I would fit this haha. I fit many without.
I would too! I’m not even a parent, but I love all these posts
You own very few toys, but the ones you do own are all wooden and each one serves a purpose.
Your oldest son cut the umbilical cord for your youngest son while your daughter filmed and photographed daddy “catching.”
Your little one, once eating table food, takes part in family style dining by feeding him or herself, regardless of the mess.
A fun activity to do with the kids is watching the garden grow.
Every family in the neighborhood knows that you are always there to lend a hand.
You DO speak up when you see another person spank a child.
Fun post! I never realized how crunchy I am until reading this.
Some kids need to be spanked. I did, and I was. And I’m grateful.
You have nursed your toddler in the grocery store by leaning over the edge of the shopping cart so they can continue to sit and nurse while you finish your shopping!
How about “If your baby was born in the same bed they were conceived in”…lol.
love this one and true for us
If your 2 year old can find his way to your breasts under any number of layers of clothing…in the dark!
If your baby’s lips have never touched a rubber nipple
if your husband and dog sleep in another room!
if you have had to educate your inlaws on your “style”
if you don’t own a razor or shaving cream
if you’ve built a solar oven and used it
if you have kombucha, kifer or some other culture brewing in your cabinet
if probiotics and breastmilk are your go to cure for almost everything
if you don’t vaccinate or delay vaccinations
if you used “what to expect when your expecting” to kindle a fire (that’s my husband contributions)
if your poor husband accidentally started a conversation with his buddies about breastfeeding or birth
“old” counterculture mom here…I say add diced tofu to the list of first foods. My babies all loved it, and I made it at home back in those days ’cause it wasn’t widely available!
I loved this!!!! I also love the term “counterculture” instead of just crunchy…
and this made me LMAO “if you used “what to expect when your expecting” to kindle a fire (that’s my husband contributions) “
My thoughts:
If you visit a friend’s house with your child(ren) because her child has chicken pox.
If you refuse to allow your baby to be passed around (I used a sling to keep from having to ‘share’.) Only my most trusted friends got to hold my babies (and they were all ‘counterculture’ mothers too.)
If you ask permission to hold a baby just to get him/her out of the ‘seat’. (I love saving babies from having to be constantly coddled in a chair!)
If you prefer the term “potty proficient” to “potty trained” because 1) you think training is for dogs, not children, and 2) to you, “potty training” means teaching a baby to ignore their potty needs for 2 years or more and then being surprised when it’s hard to change their habits.
…if your son-in-law tells his wife not to tell you what is wrong with the baby because you will tell her to squirt it with titty milk…
… if your chiropractor calls YOU when she goes into labor…
You nurse your toddler while they stand!
Your toddler nurses her/his baby dolls
Or if your toddler hands her doll to YOU to nurse!
The longest length of time your child ever cries is the legnth of time it takes you to whip a boob out.
You regularly wake up with tiny toes in your face! :]
if your are is vax free!
…most of these aplly to me (except for the beer ones) yet I don’t know what EC means (probably ’cause I don’t speak English)
Angy, EC stands for Elimination Communication ( for more you can check here:
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/mission.htm)
Pediatricians office? What pediatrician’s office?
-if you tell other moms that you think they are “brave” for birthing in hospitals.
-if “high tech” baby gear means getting out the fancy pocket diapers instead of the prefolds.
-if you’re tempted to buy copies of “Baby Wise” and “What to Expect…” books at garage sales so you can throw them away.
I would add, “if you find yourself having conversations with your child in the shoe store about why you aren’t buying them the shoes with the cartoon character or flashing lights.”
This is hilarious! With the exception of #5, 7 (I mostly use vinegar), 11, 14 (she’s 3 and still nursing), 16 (no ear/eye infections yet), 18, 21, 22 (still nursing), 24 ALL of these apply to me.
OMGoodness it’s ME!! LOL!!
I would had something about if your children know how babies are born and have watched either videos or the live home birth of a sibling!
Home birth is normal not scary!
You know what AIO’s, PUL, snappies, soakers, etc are….
GREAT post! How fun to see how many you relate to!
Oh yeah! “Crying it out” only applies to YOU and not the baby!
“if you don’t own a razor or shaving cream”
Of course! How could we forget that? Or how about also “you might shampoo your hair once a week… if you really need it… and probably only with baking soda and ACV anyway!”
I also love the way this one is put:
“If you prefer the term “potty proficient” to “potty trained” because … to you, “potty training” means teaching a baby to ignore their potty needs for 2 years or more and then being surprised when it’s hard to change their habits.”
I don’t consider myself an athletic person, but the breastfeeding in a moving car thing was definitely one of my finer moments. … LOL
And I was just thinking how “crying it out” does indeed refer to me and not the baby! *sigh*
the only one that didn’t apply was the baby born in water- but just because when i was in labor at home the water did NOT help at all. he was born in front of the toilet in the bathroom
oh, and the weaning at 15 months one too, since both kids (16 months and 3.5) are still going strong! i might add:
your daughter calls the home birth videos you watch together on youtube TV, because you don’t have TV and she’s never watched a real TV show!
love the post! thanks!
If you have nine quarts of raw milk that you skim before serving your family for breakfast.
Your toddler puts her babydolls on the dollhouse potty and makes cueing noises.
You spike your husbands coffee/tea with boob juice when he’s not looking if he’s sick.
I love this one:
2) to you, “potty training” means teaching a baby to ignore their potty needs for 2 years or more and then being surprised when it’s hard to change their habits. ”
SO true!!! My oldest son was wearing regular underwear full-time at 10 weeks while my 3-year old niece was still “not potty trained.” I feel so sorry for the poor child, when for 3 years she had been diapered (and not even changed regularly to boot, so she was really acclimated to sitting in her own poop.)
The school nurse knows better than to ask where your immunization records are. (She knows you sign the religious exemption.)
When the CDC calls about an immunization survey you have to refer them to the school nurse for proof that you don’t immunize because there are no medical records–anywhere.
Your baby shower gifts are meals and soups for the freezer to feed momma during her babymoon.
Loved the list even though my baby is 12 and I’m the grandma for three. Sorry to say my DIL is very mainstream so I bite my tongue a lot to stay in touch with my grandbabies.
Many of these don’t apply to me, but would breast-feeding your adopted toddler count? Maybe adoptive moms are more counter-culture than anyone else!!
Sarah, IMO this counts for counter-culture & a lot lot more!!!
-Your daughter doesn’t own a Barbie or any Disney princess toys, but your son has several babydolls
-Your son has a rehearsed answer that he automatically says when mistaken for a girl because of his waist-length hair
-there are no toy guns, or wrestlers or violence based toys of any kind in your house
-your eight year old knows and performs downward dog, warrior, child and cat
-your children use conscious dreaming to deal with their nightmares, breathing exercises for anger and a grounding meditation to deal with unfriendly children
-you carry thank you cards in your wallet to hand out whenever you see a mom nursing in public
-you use the hospital birth required by your diabetes as an opportunity to educate the nurses on breastfeeding and the politics of big formula
-you taught your pediatrician’s nurse why the formula company logo on her weigh scale pad contravenes the WHO code, and then what the WHO code is
-you can name which United Nations conventions protect the human right to breastfeed
-your gay teenager didn’t even need to come out, they just told you that their girlfriend was coming to dinner
-you know what active
- you just made pumpkin pie with your own breast milk because you were out of rice milk. (PS – it’s delicious)
Love this!! Many of these apply to me
I’d add:
*if your midwife knew you were expecting before your husband.
(Midwives are in such short supply here, the only reason my hubby knew before our midwife was because he was standing in the kitchen and I told him on the way from the bathroom to the phone!!)
*if you have one (or more!!) placentas in the freezer.
(we have 2)
LOL – LOVE IT!! Love everyone’s additions…especially Ashley and Grace’s!!
-if your child has no fear of doctors, dentists, etc. because they have never been harmed by needles in their offices
-if you often ponder the question “what did the mothers do before all of this…”
-if one of your mommy/self-care breaks includes a monthly conscious mothering circle
-if you are a member of a development and play-based cooperative nursery school that was founded in the 1970′s
-if you nurse while grocery shopping
You don’t have an OB or MW. You use your own bathtub/bed to birth your babies with just your husband and/or your children present. :O)
don’t forget extended rear facing in the carseats!!!! great list!
You don’t equate “discipline” with “punishment,” and the idea of anyone believing it’s necessary to strike a child to teach them makes you feel completely nauseated.
You’ve cured or treated cases of conjunctivitis, measles, plantars warts, sunburn and chicken pox at home.
Your toddler says “sashimi” before “bottle”.
Your son got busted for pulling a pacifier out of a strange baby’s mouth because he was afraid the baby was choking on a foreign object.
You have never spoon stuffed your child. If they are old enough for solids, they are old enough to practice feeding themselves (the same food you are eating chopped up small)
You have never owned a bottle or a sippy cup. Each “drink” came straight from the “tap.”
You have borrowed a little colostrum from a new mom to feed your toddler.
You have nursed your friends kids. Your friends have nursed your kids.
You have had to prepare yourself for defending your choices to in-laws who think you are bonkers.
You think a cloth diaper butt is the cutest thing in the world.
You have a shortage of pictures from playdates because all the kids were naked.
You have read LLL’s the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding so many times it is practically memorized.
You know who Dr. Jack Newman is and have emailed him, getting a response within 24 hours because he is THE AWESOME.
You take your kids geo-caching and camping and hiking and swimming in the creek.
You eat dinner together every.single.night and have conversations that are so interesting dinner lasts for hours. (My kids are 5 and
You listen to your gut, every single day. And you know you are right.
Your child’s first food was pilfered from your plate and you child’s diet consisted of meals like this with nips at the boob to cleanse the palate for quite a few weeks. LOL
LOL I love it! I had no idea I was counter-cultural, I just always thing “I do weird things with my kids, but what they hey, it works!” I especially laughed at the “walking and breastfeeding” or “breastfeeding in a moving car.” Also Maggster – “You think a cloth diaper is the cutest thing” ditto!
Love it! I freaked out the UPS man once by answering the door while breastfeeding. (I honestly thought my husband was locked out was the one knocking on the door!)
If your first call when you had mastitis was to a breastfeeding counsellor – then you spent a week us
You might be a counterculture mom if:
You taught your baby how to sign “Milk” when they wanted to nurse.
You know the many uses of tea tree oil.
You have no idea how much diapers or formula cost.
Your baby drinks out of a stainless steal sippy cup.
You’re nursing someone who’s old enough to ask to nurse with a grammatically correct sentence.
You practiced delayed cord clamping or had a Lotus Birth.
… When you’re the only one of your friends WITHOUT an ultrasound photo.
you make your own “ouchie pillows” out of rice and an old shirt, instead of using those frozen plastic things that sting because they’re so cold
OMG THIS IS THE BEST LIST EVER!!!!!!
#25 is the only one on the list that doesn’t apply to me, only b/c I have one child.
Here’s a few…
You stalk diaperswappers.com for new-to-you diapers like some women stalk deals at the mall the day after Thanksgiving.
You think nothing of having a human attached to your body 99% of your days (and nights) either at breast or in sling.
You are not tempted to rush out and get the H1N1 vaccine. Or most others for that matter
I could go on and on…I love this list!!!
#20 made me ROFL – so true!
LOL. Can I share a story? On vacation with my husband and parents, I was nursing my 3mo in a wrap while walking to lunch in Key West. A couple of middle aged drunk men were standing against a wall and one said, “ok. now I’ve seen everything.” lol
This is a great list (and comments)
Fwiw, I used the term potty learning which felt right to me.
How about…. You’ve bed hopped so many times you don’t bother to count and wouldn’t consider not sleeping around.
Your dr mentions that another family cloth diapers (or whatever) and you immediatly guess who they are. You either were reffered by them or reffered them to the dr.
You joke w dr that you should get a referral bonus. And he counters with ‘ but you guys don’t
do well visits and your kids are never sick’
Ok I made the Drs response up but it should happen!
Forgot to say o had to google Kerr jars ( I would have recognized mason or ball )
A few of you mentioned beer and celiac- a little tip- some cider ales are gluten free. I love Woodchuck- since im not a big beer fan. Not even sure I could have managed to drink it to boost supply.
I had oversupply so the opposite problem- once i was wondering why the heck my boobs were busting out the week I had oatmeal every morning.
Finally- thought of another one- when your partner comes home after a long walk or errand with the baby and you immedialy rush over, whip off your shirt and nurse your baby because you thought you might explode (-: or if you’ve ever contemplated waking a baby up to make your breasts feel better
I’m quite sure you could get to 100 easily
You own a copy of Nourishing Traditions, and you cook from it.
And you share it with your friends, who offer to buy you a new one because they’ve used it so much. (That’s my favorite cookbook! – currently in the possession of my friend
)
You know how to use a hands-free bustier to pump (for those of us working moms)
I’m truly inspired by this list as I’m expecting baby #2 in Feb. Thanks!
I too love this list. I haven’t read ALL of the responses but have one to offer . . .
If you’ve ever had to (on more than one occasion) explain to the vital records office on why you are there “applying” for a birth certificate – that no the hospital did not apply for one and neither did a midwife..
If the vital records office personnel knows who you are now. (It’s your 4th + trip in for your 4+ baby)
If throughout your pregnancy you are asked who your “doctor” or “midwife” is and you either give them your partners name to avoid questions or give them your chiropractors name to avoid questions.
Oh, Meg, I LOVE Nourishing Traditions. Fabulous book. And also, Naturally Healthy Babies and Children. Does anyone else have that one on their nightstand?
Your child’s first taste of solids was something she picked herself from the garden while she was strapped to your back in a Moby while you were gardening.
Your baby books have the pre-fab pages torn out or marked over. Example: “here is a picture of me and mommy in the hospital the day I was born.”
You joined a parenting forum and got kicked out.
Your only jewelry is BPA free rubber teething necklaces
If you’ve peed while wearing your sleeping baby because she was sleeping like an angel and you couldnt bare to wake her up but had to go BAD!
You have a complete list of Nestle companies on your fridge and refer to it often.
When your ped asks you how long your babe nurses on each breast you reply, “until she is done.”
While everyone else is running out to get flu shots, you are running out to get vitamin D and acidophilous.
I want to add ‘your children are frequently mistaken for the opposite sex.’
Oh this is wonderful! I was with you on 23 of them – my placentas are in the freezer…still. Yeah, I counted. I’m bored
It’s great to be “weird”!
- You’re child checks food labels at the store
- You’ve floated down a river in a tube and breastfed at the same time
- You know all of the other names for MSG
this list and all the comments make me feel a GREAT GRATITUDE towards all the awareness and compassion that’s been CULTIVATED by you mamas, as so many of us WERE NOT brought up to do and find these things/behaviors, but have sought and found the safest, most REAL foods and habits and behaviors for our families.
I might therefore add:
If you’ve offended your sister-in-law or other family “accidentally” on Facebook when referring to “thoughtless, careless circumcision.”
If you are quite sure that you’ll someday have siblings with cancer and/or diabetes in their families, and can only hope to be available to help if asked…
If you’ve written an EXTENDED letter about “scheduled Cesarean” to a high school acquaintance because you really just wanted her to have more information!
If all your family vacation photos include several breastfeeding-in-cool-locations shots
If you’ve ever nursed on an airplane, with your toddler’s legs on the person to one side, and his head resting on the person’s arm to your other side, OR, to avoid said people next to you, you’ve nursed your toddler as he stood up on the floor, and just leaned over to reach him better!
If the clinic where you take your child is called “Namaste Healthcare,” and is run by authentic sister-hippies who insist on breastfeeding, and have posted signs commending restaurants, stores, and people who have championed nursing in public!
Cheers, all women making such incredibly worthwhile efforts for our beloveds!!!
If your child tells people she has given up high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated vegetable oil
If your child uses the word “yoni”
If you often mention Ina May’s, Michel’s, MoriningStar’s opinion on a subject without having to mention last names–and your friends know just who you are talking about. Same with Holt or Gatto.
If your child is the first in their group to understand the basics of conception, birth, contraception, lactation, miscarriage, abortion, death, and menstruation, even though many of her friends are older than s/he is.
When you realize the comment you just made is too “out there” for La Leche League.
If you consider it an unparalleled educational opportunity to spend long hours at the local goat dairy during kidding season helping the mothers and new babies.
If you know the names, faces, and locations of the farmers who grow any/most/all of your food.
If your child begs to go with you to the farmer’s market.
If you think the farmer’s market might be getting “a touch too commercial” for you.
If your child knows the meaning, spelling, and proper use of commonly used “curse’ words, but doesn’t use them in public out of respect for others.
If your child knows what organic means, why it is important, and prefers organic when offered.
If your child is reluctant to eat “grocery-store” eggs, milk, meat, or produce.
If your child will eat and likes tofu, polenta, kale, chard, tempeh, real saurkraut and pickles, kombucha, kefir, unsweetened yogurt, flax seeds, nutritional yeast, sea vegetables.
If your child makes their own Halloween costume.
If your child’s friends range in age from newborns to 90 year-olds and s/he wants to invite ALL of them to their birthday party.
If your child understands and can help his/her friends navigate food allergies such as gluten intolerance, nut allergies, etc.
If your child can rinse their nose with salt water when they are sick, will fix themselves a spoonful of raw garlic to help with a health challenge, and adapts their own diet without much complaint to stay healthy.
If your child has never used sun screen, acetominophen, ibuprofen, antihistamines or decongestants, but can make a cough remedy from plants.
If your child thinks they’ve never had a math lesson, but can double a recipe, master square-foot-gardening, and understands how roman numerals work.
If your child nurses her/his dolls, dresses to please him/herself, regardless of cultural rules about gender, wears a cloth menstrual pad in his/her underpants, and asks mothers in the hardware store about their birth experiences.
If you don’t have and OB or a ped, but a family doctor you don’t see very often and a midwife–both of whom make home visits, and your children call them by their first name.
Thanks for this,
Elizabeth
Ok, I think I need to go live with you
Laundry day involves, clothing, diapers and the joy of going outside to hang it on the line.
this is excellent! it put a big smile on my face
i love all the comments!!!
my addition:
if you use a stroller, but only to carry your diaper and shopping bags
You make your child’s toys, or they are made of wood, wool, or silk, NOT plastic
Crystal- I like your unassisted birth comment. I’ve birthed unassisted also. It was a wonderful experience.
Barbara- I had to laugh at your chicken pox comment. I just exposed my children to chicken pox this past week… on purpose. LOL.
Here are a few suggestions of my own. Sorry if any are repeats, but I think most are fresh:
If your 3 year old daughter tried to nurse her little sister.
If you spend more time texting your MW than your sister.
If you and your best friend baby swap for a nursing to bond with each other.
If you don’t cringe, but, in fact, welcome the suggestion by your MW to eat part of your placenta after your birth. (If you are cringing right now take some time to study the benefits that your placenta has to offer. It stops hemorrhaging and keeps from allowing depression to set in, among other things. And you only need a bite or two.)
If you have one or more placentas in your freezer.
If you have ever used your fruit dehydrator to dry placenta to make capsules.
If in your homeschooled house your 2 year old can use words like “peculiar” correctly in a sentence.
If you have to fill out a form and they ask for your doctor’s information and you have no idea what or who to write because your child has never been to the doctor. I don’t even know the name of the doctor in our town. LOL.
If your children beg you to eat raw carrots and broccoli while you are cooking dinner.
If your 16 month old baby pulls up your shirt and chooses/dictates which breast she will start on for that feeding.
If Echinacea Golden Seal is a common household object.
When you are out in public and each and every time someone asks, “Are all these yours?”
When you tell your friend that you are 3cm dilated and she asks how you know because you don’t see a doctor and your reply is, “I just check myself”.
Thanks for this post. It was great fun!
Pam
I’m more of the “whatever works for our family” mama. Some of that is pretty granola, some of that is totally “traditional”. There are several things on that list I think are completely nutso (the whole placenta thing, EWWWW!), a good third to half I wouldn’t dream of NOT doing, and another healthy half to 2/3 are things that are great for some families but just don’t work for ours. (my daughter is incapable of falling asleep or staying asleep if there is another human being within “talking” distance, we live in too rural of an area to have the sort of alternate medicine resources that “city folk” have, we don’t have the sort of unhindered access to laundry to make cloth diapers feasible) I don’t see the point in adhering religiously to any parenting methodology. Everything from babywise to extreme attachment parenting has it’s pluses and good ideas. I’ll just keep reading lots of stuff from lots of different view points and use my knowledge of my family to decide which ideas work for us.
I completely concur with your assessment! Also, I have a very difficult time with moms telling other moms that their way is the only and best way…sometimes it just isn’t in the cards for that family. We need to work together.
LOL, yep. This describes me, to a T!
“You don’t have a ‘plastic kid section’ in your kitchen cabinets.”
I love it! everything applies to me except the beer thing.
“if your kid plays “doctor” by looking up your remedy for you”
“if your vitamin, herbs and homeopathic remedy cabinet is overflowing but you don’t have a single Tylenol for your guest”
“if you haven’t needed your diva cup/sponge/natural tampon/mama pad because between breastfeeding and pregnancy you didn’t have your period in years”
“your kids pretend to give birth under water while taking a bath”
“you sleep with your shirt pulled up to your chin so the kids can access your boobs without waking you up at night”
I love “the baby story” comment! I used to yell at that show all the time.
I laughted so much!! I would add from my own experience:
- When your 2 kids argue to get to eat the last salad leaf left
- When you child tastes someone’s birthday cake and says “it is too sweet,and anyway it has gluten and cow milk inside, so no thank you.”
- When your baby’s first food never needed to be blended because he already had enough teeth to chew it.
- When you finally agree to buy a remote controlled helicopter to your child to celebrate his weaning. And you are sad that you could not find any working with solar panels as requested!
And… when you child’s dream is to live in a hill tribe village in the jungle in a bamboo house.
When you still breastfeed you child but wear a normal bra.
Love it!
Add to the own a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility “or Garden of Fertility.”
and here are some others:
“You gauge the temperature of your house by how solid or liquid the coconut oil is.”
“Your child thinks everyone eats bone broth for breakfast.”
“Your child displays his ignorance of his neighbor’s toys and their shows/movies by getting the names wrong, like “Buzz Lightningyear.”
“Your child doesn’t know what it means when another parent gives her kid a time-out.”
“At Halloween, your child brags about not knowing what candy tastes like and can’t get over his excitement about what the Switch Witch will trade it in for.”
Maybe I missed this one, but “Your child asks when you pick up a piece of produce, ‘Is it organic?’ or ‘Is it in season?’”
~if your freezer is full of containers with ice cube size blocks of homemade baby food
~if you tear-up when you clean the house because you’re using an old diaper or baby item as a your rag (instead of paper towel)
~if you’ve ever actually tried to make a breastmilk slushie per your child’s request
~if your children decline water from the drinking fountain because they know they should only drink water that comes from “mama’s fountain” at home (reverse osmosis water)
~if your “15 year” king size mattress is falling apart after 5 years of family bed, naps and nursing sessions
~if your method of silencing the “opinions” of naysayers is to chase them out of your house while squirting them with boobie milk
~if your 7 year-old has no idea what the words: Skittles, M&M’s, Pop-Tarts, Coke, Hershey’s, Captain Crunch, etc. are
~if your kids says “What’s a commercial?”
Pureeing? Baby-led weaning is where it’s at! Google Gill Rapley
These are great!
I fall into the category on quite a few of those. I take listeria seriously while pg so not that one, and we are military so I don’t bury the placenta since we move around too much. Those are the two I can think of off the top of my head. I was the last of the people I know the wean though. I bf the longest of anyone in my husbands family.
What about, you might be counterculture if you don’t categorize parents, and especially not by what they BUY OR OWN, but by their set of attitudes and how they act?
Oh, wait. That invalidates the entire exercise of making self-serving lists about consumer choices.
A lot of these are great, I appreciate when they relate to your parenting style. Many of the comments are about why other parents and their decisions are wrong, however. Parenting is personal, we of all people should realize this and appreciate how different we all are.
I think reading a lot of these I felt like if I met many of these people in the real world, I would be judged because not all my decisions are perfect, not all are “counter culture”, and I think people who practice natural parenting know what being judged is like, and it’s not fun. So why do it to others?
Said with love of course.
Okay, so I’m not a mommy yet but I know most of those will apply to me when I DO become one. I’m curious about the breastfeeding a baby while she’s in a carseat though. Now THAT is impressive!
Ina Mae Gaskin is your hero and you secretly (or not so secretly) want to give birth at The Farm.
You embrace the terms lactivist and intactivist.
The first place you turn for baby related advice is MDC.
Half of you baby’s wardrobe is pre-loved.
Haha, love the list! I’ve done a lot of things except that I don’t believe in homeopathy or osteopathy. I’m also wondering about “breastfeeding your child while they’re strapped in a carseat in a moving car”. I take the baby out of the carseat sometimes when we are moving slowly (I’m not driving of course). I know, it’s not really okay
So how do you do it without taking the baby out? Breast extensions? 
Natalia –
I’ve only ever fed my babies while strapped into carseats when they were rear facing and we were in slow-moving traffic (because it’s not an ideal safety position for me to be in, obviously). But I stay strapped in and just lean over as far as I can. It gets me close enough that it works
Stephanie — those are all topics I write about — I don’t know a lot of people who practice those things near me, so I’m very thankful for my online community of parents for support. So glad you found me and hope I’ll see you around the site again soon!
33. The staff at the pediatrician’s office knows you as THAT patient.
I got this one every time (tho not often) I went to the doctor. Actually
the doctor would say or here is that healthy family.
We have gone for one broken leg… and for sports physicals.. that is about it.
I first read this last night and have been thinking/dreaming about it even in my sleep. It is working on me and inspiring me. I already do a bunch of the pro-milkies atuff with my 9 month old and want to do more. I’m getting ready to go back to work though and then so much will be up to the counterculture Dada while he stays home and goes to school. I wish all this ballance came more easily!
Thanks so much Lillie! That was an awesome comment — I really, really appreciate it
I sure fit in here, I would add a few about homeschool, co-sleeping, not vaxing, cloth diapering ,recycling, and eating local … I sure wish some of you lived near me.
Love this list!!! I’ve got most of them! I read it three times and laughed more each time. Here are a few more:
* Your toddler sees another mom breastfeeding a baby and says, “Mmm! Milk!” while smacking her lips and eyeing the boobs hopefully.
* Your toddler asked your mom (her grandma) if HER boobs had milk and wanted to see them to make sure.
* You cringe when you hear someone say “Good job” to a kid, even though you know it’s positive and well-intentioned
* You convinced a few of your friends to have homebirths, most of them to try EC, and all of them to get at least one cloth diaper
* You’ve taken a friend’s newborn to the potty
* At playgroup you’re known as the “poop police” because you’re always on the lookout for a poop smell…and when someone else’s kid is pooping, you can’t understand why they calmly wait for the kid to finish instead of taking him to the potty
* When a guest in your house changes a disposable diaper, you don’t know where to tell them to put it.
* Your EC’d kid has been out of diapers for a year or two…but you still stalk diaperswappers because, you know, you’ll use more diapers eventually!
* You didn’t have a baby shower because the only stores that sold what you wanted are all online. And most of what you wanted isn’t available on amazon.
* You have a really hard time getting presents for baby showers unless the mom is one of the friends who you’ve convinced to try cloth diapers. Even if she’s not sure about cloth, you might end up buying her a few anyway.
* You and one of your more mainstream friends were talking about how expensive babies are. You were agreeing with her until she pointed out that you don’t buy formula, diapers, bottles, or toys, so your babies really couldn’t be THAT expensive!
* You plan on teaching your four year old how to carry a newborn and letting her wear her baby sibling in a sling.
Love that I found you/this list through my AP friends, and then rediscovered it through the RIE network! So how about the RIE counter-culture behaviors that get me snickers and funny looks? And then I’m on the soap-box, baby!
When other parents rush over to scoop up a crying baby, or say “there’s nothing wrong, stop crying” You wait to see the baby’s reaction and then calmly talk her through the incident.
You talk to your baby respecting the human being that she is from pre-natal and then from birth. And once she is born, you talk TO her all the time instead of AT her.
You talk to your baby while changing her diaper, instead of distracting him or her, and use correct names for her body parts.
You tell your child/ask permission before picking her up.
You put her down to play even when she might get dirty *gasp*
You NEVER put your child onto play equipment that she cannot get onto herself, and give her space and encouragement to figure out how to get down on her own, so that she learns to play safely and understands her personal limits.
You NEVER put your child into a walker – or into a position that her body isn’t ready for, specifically sitting, standing, or walking.
You feed her while sitting on the floor with her, decline a high-chair as much as possible, let her feed herself, never play “here comes the airplane” or “just eat a little more” or “join the clean-plate club”.
Great read. Although I am not so crunchy than most and still getting my head around breastfeeding when the child is strapped in the car seat (LMAO) I am proud of my daughter pointing to our homeopathic remedy kid and saying “medicine”.
freaking love this! brilliant!
Just thought of one today – More scared of the chemicals in the cleaning liquids than of the dirt on the table.
Natalia, yes, you’re definitely speaking to the right mama on this one — my kids play in dirt all the time, and my little one was sucking on rocks at the park today.
re: 26, isn’t pureeing foods something that started because mainstream people started complementary foods too young? I know they’re convenient in many cases, but they aren’t really necessary for a baby 6 months or older who can sit up alone.
You believe in naturally acquired immunity and know what “herd immunity means.” You can list some of the main ingredient is vaccines and know what they do to the body.
Your child sees an acupuncturist/chinese medicine doctor and a naturopath/homeopath – and sees them more regularly than you do yourself!
Plastic toys are “dangerous” and not allowed in the house.
Your house is cable free, or even TV free.
When someone offers your child food, they ask “is it organic?” And “does it have *insert food allergen here* in it, cuz I am allergic?”
You drive by a construction zone and your 5yo starts crying because “they are destroying the earth! They are polluting the earth and the water and destroying the plants! The poor animals! Why Mommy?! Don’t they care about the earth???” (this happened just a few days ago LOL)
You BF your child for YEARS, not months and allowed them to wean naturally. You have nursed a toddler or preschooler in public.
You’ve donated EBM to a babe in need.
Your child BEGS to go to the bookstore and will run past a toy store to get there. And is content to sit and read books for an hour or more, and even has special books he “visits” there.
Thanks, love it! Love all the comments from all the like-minded Mamas, too!
Two to add: (yes, we read them all and still thought of 2 more!)
Agreed with everything, except #11. Beer will actually dry up milk supply… it is a myth that it is a galactagogue. I say this just cause i don’t want any mommas to hurt their supply or new mommas to hurt their chances to breastfeed. As with everything in the world, don’t take a momma’s word for it in a blog, do your own research. love this! reposting!
I have a few more. First, I am a grandmother of 12 (oldest is 16). The other day my daughter told me she was a crunchy mama and was surprised when I told her that her generation did NOT coin the term.
My mother, G-d rest her soul, taught all my children to chew gum (sugarless, of course). Gum chewing was one of her many enjoyments but I do not chew gum. She didn’t want my children deprived of the experience and she kept them all supplied with gum. In particular with my son, when he got into my lap, he would hand me his gum to hold while he nursed. Or he would nip me accidentally and I would ask him whether he had gum.
When my children were small, I did not know about homeschooling. So when they began kindergarten and first and second grades, I would send a note to the teacher on the first day, telling the teacher that my child had extensive knowledge of childbirth and breastfeeding and might tend to discuss it. Despite my attempts to teach them that other children might not have this information and it was not their responsibility to teach them, you just never know.
You have a friend whose kindergartener goes to school and tells her teacher that her mommy has a baby in her tummy but it doesn’t belong their family. (She is a surrogate.)
When all of your daughters plan to give birth at home and if a cesarean occurs, plan to VBAC with the next pregnancy.
When all of your daughters breastfeed long term, including the one who insists on going back to work but makes absolutely sure that her baby NEVER receives formula, only expressed breastmilk.
Your children have attended one or more births that were not yours.
I would add “who” to number 28 lol and also i tend to think the cure to everything is a garlic and coconut oil massage!
your baby takes up more room in the bed than your husband
HAHAHAHAHA. Alicia, I have to admit, I think that is my favorite comment so far of them all.
You’ve slept with your entire family in one bed.
Your kids have never seen a pediatrician, but they know what a chiropractor and naturopath/homeopath are.
Your kids have only heard about vaccines.
When your kids are sick, they ask for the vitamins/herbs/homeopathic remedies.
nice! Will be sharing on FB. How many of these do you need to be the part?
you eat paleo pretty much does it too…
if you use cloth for everything including food storage, if your diaper bag does not contain anything you can’t use multiple times, if your child will only sleep when in physical contact with you. when you need a wetbag for every room in your house. when your stroller has actual cobwebs on it. haha, this is fun!!
If you’re nursing your child RIGHT NOW so you can spend a little time online…
check!
ha! yep
yes
my 2 year old is nursing now.
We actually never pureed our son’s food. He ate what we ate from the day he started solids at 6 months.
Perhaps you might be a counterculture mama if your toddler is still rear-facing in his carseat. Or if you researched and set what (if any) vaccines your child would be getting and when. Or if you’ve offered/threatened to squirt breastmilk in your husband’s eye/nose to help him clear up his pink eye/sinus infection. Or if your child doesn’t own plastic toys. Or if you buy vinegar in bulk because you use it for everything.
good ones! Love the no plastic toys!!
You know what the acronyms VBAC, HBAC, UBAC and CBAC mean.
You feel sorry for the moms who are lugging around their baby in the bucket seat, while yours is snuggled up on your breasts.
You and your partner know what your milk tastes like AND you use it for eachother’s eye/ears/nose ailments.
Your kids wear wool in the summertime!
Hillarious!
If your child and all their friends call to “regular milk” as a cows milk.
If your child ask to waitress in a restaurant to serve her water in glass not in a disposable cup.
If you worry if you/child didn’t have much probiotic food/drinks this week.
When the talk with other parents is about births, breastfeeding, gentle discipline tips, education, organic farming, etc
Unable to go through all the comments right now, and maybe someone already mentioned, but…
Your child continued to ride rear-facing well past the 1 & 20 guidelines.
If you take your kid to see her aunt the naturopath instead of her pediatrician for most things except “well checks”.
This is awesome! So far, I’m about halfway counterculture
I can’t say yes to them all but really enjoyed the discussion. Here’s one I didn’t see (which maybe applies to moms-with-boys only):
If you’ve ever pretend-nursed a tractor, monster truck, dinosaur or Godzilla.
I agree with Ruth. And ALL of the moms commenting here ARE mainstream!
They all drive their cars to the farmers market! Chat on their celphones/home phones. They all clearly use computers and the INTERNET. So they all have electricity and I’m sure running water. They all probably have heating and air conditioning in their homes. And I’m sure they all go to the dentist!
If they want to be “granola” and live among people with similar beliefs, perhaps they should all consider moving to an Amish town!
You may think it’s wrong for me to send my kids to a public school and only breast feed for a year, but I think sleeping in the same bed as you child is ridiculous! My children are compassionate, self sufficient “individuals” and I didn’t have to nurse for 4 year or sleep with them to make them that way! My husband and I are honest, compassionate, and law abiding people, and therefore my children will grow up that way too!
Mainstream, the purpose of my post wasn’t to pit anyone against each other, or prove who was more this or less that. I don’t think any one way is particularly better than another, and I don’t think the majority of people who commented here think that either. Most “counterculture” mamas I know actually seem mainstream (I think I do!), and then we suddenly realized our values took us in a different direction that seem a little (or a lot!) strange to many people. It makes me sad when it’s interpreted as putting other people down or to be superior, because that’s the opposite of who I am. I hope you take the time to read my other posts and other comments, and see what an inclusive community of amazing parents exists here.
To: Suchada @ Mama Eve,
I really appreciated and enjoyed your original post, i thought it was funny and informative. I didn’t appreciate some of the comments from the other moms on here. I understand every one has an opinion, which is why I felt the need to voice mine. But some of the comments like: being grossed out by watching a mom feed her baby a jar of baby food, or being upset by hearing a mother talking about circumcising her son, really upset me. We are all going to have to agree to disagree. One thing I’m sure we can all agree on, is that we are all loving mothers, doing the best we can!
I agree mama, well said.
It is absolutely okay for someone to be upset about hearing that someone else will circumcise. While I understand that it is part of our culture and others, it is still the cutting off of a child’s body part and many people do not consider that acceptable – in fact, many people believe it to be abusive and/or mutilation. It is okay for them to think that.
What is not okay is trying to force someone to accept your way of thinking – which is not the same as being upset about it, and which they did not do (I’m not accusing you of it either, in case it came out that way). Although when discussing circumcision I could understand it as the people who are opposed consider it a human rights issue and not a parenting issue.
Since you clearly believe that everyone has their own opinion, I hope that you will take the time to learn to respect theirs.
Also, this post is just a list of ways to tell if you might be counterculture – and those feelings or beliefs are definitely counterculture. The people who posted them are expressing how they feel or what they believe, in a forum where they anticipate SOME of the others might agree. It’s not a post about judging people, BUT judgments such as those *do* indicate a counterculture mama.
I think some of this is cute and definitely applies to me but after reading through most of the comments it seems like a spring-board for women to feel superior about their mothering skills. Being a mother doesn’t automatically make you know more than everyone else. And how do you know whether every woman who does the opposite of you just hasn’t done the proper research? Whether you are bottle/formula fed, vaccinated, circumcized, public school educated, etc. doesn’t matter as long as you are taught to be a kind and compassionate human being and when I read some of these comments I wanted to cry at how much some of these mothers are modeling judgemental arrogance to their children and knowing that their children may be around my kids making them feel bad if they *gasp eat something prepackaged or *gasp go to public school or don’t eat 100% organic because we can’t afford to do it all the way. Just remember people on your death bed you are probably not going to remember what kind of food you ate or what you wore , or if you co-slept in a family bed or whether you were circumcised etc, but rather what kind of person you were and what your deeds said about your character.
Ruth, thank you for your comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my original article. It was written on a whim, a quick reflection of how non-mainstream I’d become as a mother and how funny it was to both my husband and me — because even a couple of years ago I never would have imagined I’d be the kind of person to squirt breastmilk up my son’s nose. My intention was never to be exclusive or superior, but I see how that sentiment is reflected in some of the comments. As an advocate for some non-mainstream things (home birth, breastfeeding, natural learning, etc), it’s sometimes hard to walk a line — I believe those things make a difference in the world, but certainly not in the character of a person. Thank you for the reminder that gentleness and compassion are rare and valued traits as well. <3
I enjoyed the original post very much, but I was starting to get the same sentiment from this post as Ruth after reading on. While I value many of these things, none of them matter in eternity, and I know that there is more than one way to be a good mama.
Same here. I really enjoyed the original post, and some of the comments felt a little like the flip-side of the judgments I get from my mainstream in-laws. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my short 20 months of motherhood is that most families are doing the best they can do with the knowledge and resources they have and it’s not my place to judge them for making different choices than me (whether more mainstream or more crunchy) any more than it’s their place to judge my choices. You never know where a person has been until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
Regardless, I did really enjoy the article and it is nice to know there are other mamas out there making different choices. Thank you!
Wish there was a “like” button to your reply! Thank you for the kind reply to people’s comments…
Thank you SO much, Ruth, for posting this. I enjoyed the article, was getting the same feeling from some comments, and was tempted to post an angry retort when I read this.
You put it much more gently than I would have.
It’s also important to remember that just because you have some counter-culture beliefs and practices doesn’t mean you necessarily have to “fit the mold” and adhere to every single idea your friends (or favorite bloggers) do. The idea shouldn’t be to fit “in the counterculture mother’s club,” (how much of an oxymoron is that?), but to carefully evaluate each decision for yourself, and after thoughtful analysis and soul-searching, do what you believe to be best for your family. And guess what, that just might involve owning a second-hand stroller (gasp!) instead of 3 expensive new slings… you get the idea. You know what works for you – as long as it is a well-informed decision, don’t be ashamed of it!
I don’t think 34 is quite true…I love to cook with exotic things I can’t pronounce!
Heh. “Your 4 year old smiles and waves at people from her rear-facing car seat.”
“You’ve corrected your doctor before, and had them look it up to see, and admitted they were wrong…”
Oh, 2 more…
“When other mothers asked when your baby started holding his/her bottle, you point out that bottle-holding is not a developmental milestone, and that if formula has to be used then cuddle-bottlefeeding is closer to breastfeeding and should be encouraged. So… never.”
“You have the Fearless Formula Feeder’s blog website bookmarked and memorized.”
Yes, even bottlefeeders can fall on the counterculture side of things.
I love Fearless Formula Feeder. She is a bloggy friend and ally — and totally awesome
This is awesome. Almost all of those apply to me.
How about: You’re baby’s first solid food was a handfull of taco meat grabbed from your plate, becuase you waited past 6 months to give him “real” food, and he refused to be spoon fed.
Your 5 yr old boy “nurses” his stuffed frog.
You’ve had to explain to other people’s children, in public, that your baby isn’t biting you, but is eating.
You have nursed your baby in a sling, one handed while standing in line at Wal-Mart.
The pizza man got an eyefull because you were nursing the baby when he showed up, and rather than break the latch, you answered the door still nursing.
You don’t give Tylenol for every tiny fever, because you know it’s the body’s way of trying to burn out the infection.
OMG! I’m sharing this with EVERYONE (even those weirdos who look at me like I’m nuts when I tell them my 28 month-old STILL BF’s!)
Oh, you might want to add: Your children don’t know how to use a bottle because they’ve never been given one.
what about: your child has no idea what a stroller is
or: thinks bottles and pacifiers are teethers
love this list. it made me laugh and remember many of the times when my kids were little. I would add – you let your 13 year old go off on a month long solo trip to visit various relatives flying alone and experiencing life. You let your children figure out what they want to do and not push them into your favorite activity or cheerleading and football because that is what the cool parents do.
When the cat came home with a nasty looking war wound behind his ear, my first thought was breastmilk. Hey, guess what? It’s healing beautifully!!
When your child’s diapers go in the washing machine instead of the garbage.
When at a party, your son asks where the clothes hamper after using a napkin. When you have a wet bag in the bathroom AND it contains baby cloth, reusable wipes, family cloth, and mama pads. When you call the doctor’s office and they insist on getting you in quickly because it must be important. When you have been through the private entrance of the doctor’s office because you gave your child chicken pox and they fear exposing others. When you go grocery shopping and the temper tantrum involves NOT buying blueberries. When your child is unfamiliar with Kraft dinner. When your 3 year old son makes breast feeding jokes. This is fun!
When your kids don’t know what a stroller is but can easily tell the difference between a wrap, Mei Tai, soft structure carrier or sling.
You went ahead with your last minute shopping for washable nursing pads, since the activity would help keep your labor progressing.
You attend church services, the PTA meeting or your older child’s soccer game less than twelve hours after your home birth.
You dispense Hyland’s Teething Tablets to all of your children, during prolonged trips in the family VW van.
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